Not Two Halves of a Whole

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 By Ally 


Let me preface this by saying I am not a relationship expert whatsoever. I may not be the most qualified to be writing about relationships (or qualified at all), but I'm going to do it anyway. I would also like to state that this is my opinion and I would welcome and respect other perspectives. That being said, let's get down to it. 


I HATE when people refer to their partners as "their other half" or that "they are two halves of a whole". To me, these tend to be the same people breaking up "because they need to work on themselves". Having someone be your other half implies that by yourself you are not complete. This doesn't make sense. Because, given that you are with your partner now, you were able to survive and live on your own up until meeting this person. To me, this is evidence enough that you are complete by yourself. 


This being said, I do believe that people in relationships can and should make each others lives better. But relying on someone else to live is not a healthy relationship. And this is shown on two fronts: 


ONE: Requiring a person to complete you means that something is missing from your life and you are filling it with someone else. This person could very well be a distraction from what is missing. This could lead to jealousy, clinginess and other issues in a relationship. Using this person as a crutch for some other issues will prevent you from solving these issues and will create problems in your relationship. Having a person that you rely on to live can cause an obsession with your partner and your relationship, which is damaging to your life outside your relationship.


TWO: Having someone rely on you to complete their life creates an immense added pressure to your life. When someone relies on you for their well being, you become responsible for not only your life, but theirs as well. To this point, I have actual experience. And let me say, it is NOT fair to put your emotional state and well being on another person. There is a difference between asking for help and relying on someone to fix your issues. And I am 100% on board with asking for help, but when it crosses that line, it becomes one sided. 


I would also like to point out that despite the cliché nature of breaking up to work on yourself, I believe it is a very legitimate reason to end or take a break from a relationship. In my opinion, figuring out yourself and learning how to live "alone" will allow you to have better relationships in the future.


I am glad to see that so many people use these phrases as an expression for the happiness and personal growth that their relationships have brought them. However, I would caution people to really think about the implications that phrases such as these have on their relationships. 



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